I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize