He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
