Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
