Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize