She is in my trunk
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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