Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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