We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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