i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
