now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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