Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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