HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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