Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
