I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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