guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
