My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
