Sober January is a disaster.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
