Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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