So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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