three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
