I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You are the jesus of drinking
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
