Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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