Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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