You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My pussy is not your playground.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So many bounce houses so little time
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
