If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
