How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
