dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
