i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
