So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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