I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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