This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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