I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize