no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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