Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
