Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
