i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
