He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm always down for nudity.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
