So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
