Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize