Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
