it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
