worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
