Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
