So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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