C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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