Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
