You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
