Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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