you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
