Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
