I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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