Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
