I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
