i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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