Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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