Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize