3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
