Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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