Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The air was thick with penises
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
